I first heard about Pig Madness on Friday from an email from a friend
who knew Melanie McQuitty. I went to the Pig Madness website to read
about it and was instantly hooked after reading the FAQ's section of the
site. I mean, "I think your league is for immature assholes - am I wrong?"
I can really empathize with that statement. I feel like people often confuse
my brilliance with immature assholeness. Maybe that's why I'm not
married. I don't know. Just thinking about it made me call my therapist.
But I digress.
I woke up Saturday morning and was really feeling pretty fucking sick.
Knowing that a Pig Madness type event requires a willingness to "go big,"
I was concerned that I couldn't bring the right energy level to the dance
and at 9:00am was pretty much going to bag the day. My buddy called
me at 10:00pm and then let me know that the bulk of the crew that would
be there was from Philadelphia and South Jersey. That sealed it for me.
Having been born and raised in Texas and having had season tickets to the
Cowboys since I was a baby, I knew I needed show up and TAKE IT TO YOU PHILLY GUYS IN YOUR HOUSE. Besides, my 80% is better then any Philly guys 105%. So, I put on my lucky Miller Lite shirt, grabbed my Dallas Cowboy hat, and hopped into my buddy's car. Once in the car, Melanie began to explain the game to us (none of us had ever heard of it) with her own personal set of pigs. It definitely concerned me a bit that an attractive, adult woman would be carrying around a plastic set of pigs in her purse but I tried not to judge. Melanie also informed me that I could not wear the Cowboy hat inside. While the thought of leaving the Cowboy hat behind bummed me out, the idea of getting curbed by some drunk guy from South Jersey in Venice Beach at 11:00 o'clock at night bummed me out more. I left the hat behind.
My favorite part of the Madness was having so many opportunities to randomly talk trash to my opponents. I'm a competitive guy and definitely wanted to win, but I enjoy trash-talking (and being trash-talked to) more then the actual game itself. I really feel like the League needs to bring up the caliber of trash talking. I mean, not once did I see anyone cry for example. Sure, there was some beer throwing but it didn't lead to any punches.
My plan moving forward is to remain a dominant force in the NPPL. That's right, I used the word REMAIN. I really believe there are only a few people capable of winning an event like Pig Madness as it requires a mix of talents few have: a well-tested liver, the ability to think like a 7- year old, and the mental strength to get through 25+ matches in a day. I will be back to defend my title next year and hope I can make a couple of the other events as I'd like to go down as the greatest of all time. My goal is a sentence like "Jordan, Tiger, Federer, Kuperman".
Finally, if you are reading this and do not understand what an incredible game Pass the Pigs is, you sound like my friends and family who have been less then impressed by my recent win despite the whopping $1,000 prize. As I've talked about the experience to outsiders, I have heard words like, "you're a loser," "get a life," and "please put your clothes back on." I'm not really sure if that last one had anything to do with Pigs but it's irrelevant. The bottom line is that the only way one can truly understand Pigs is to partake in the experience. Long live Pass the Pigs! See you all next year.
Zachery Kuperman
2009 PIG MADNESS V Champion
SUPERMAN KUPERMAN: "LONG LIVE PASS THE PIGS!!!
--Pig Madness V Champion Zach Kuperman recaps his amazing day...
Kuperman with his trophy and $1,000
Kuperman...Superman
Once inside, I immediately drank 2 beers and watched a demonstration game played. At that point, two things were apparent: 1) I needed to drink a lot more beer, 2) It didn't seem possible that anyone else even had a chance. Having played poker professionally for a few years, I knew it wouldn't take me long to figure out how to properly play. I think I was 3-3 in the round-robin before I got a grasp on the best strategy. Incidentally, one of those losses was to Adam Meyer who was definitely my toughest opponent of the preliminaries. I know he's a past Masters and Madness Champion and I think he still has a future in the sport if he can find a way to get over his mental weaknesses. He seemed to get too emotional and down on himself in his playoff's loss. I hate to pile on here but my easiest opponent was Bob. He might need to stick to children's games ages 7 & under. Pigs is obviously just too complex for him. My toughest match overall was Elvis in the quarterfinals. I think the difference there was Elvis just wanted it to much. I can see how that happens given his history/place in the game as the originator of "all things pig."
Once inside, I immediately drank 2 beers and watched a demonstration game played. At that point, two things were apparent: 1) I needed to drink a lot more beer, 2) It didn't seem possible that anyone else even had a chance. Having played poker professionally for a few years, I knew it wouldn't take me long to figure out how to properly play. I think I was 3-3 in the round-robin before I got a grasp on the best strategy. Incidentally, one of those losses was to Adam Meyer who was definitely my toughest opponent of the preliminaries. I know he's a past Masters and Madness Champion and I think he still has a future in the sport if he can find a way to get over his mental weaknesses. He seemed to get too emotional and down on himself in his playoff's loss. I hate to pile on here but my easiest opponent was Bob. He might need to stick to children's games ages 7 & under. Pigs is obviously just too complex for him. My toughest match overall was Elvis in the quarterfinals. I think the difference there was Elvis just wanted it to much. I can see how that happens given his history/place in the game as the originator of "all things pig."
