THE PIGANAPOLIS 500!!!
The Piganapolis 500 is a grueling race to 500 points. Designed for any number of contestants to play at once, the pig passers take turns rolling the pigs and passing until someone reaches 500 points. Think it's easy? Imagine getting to over 400 points and rolling an oinker! It's happened. In fact, one Master oinkered so much he didn't even finish!
This event usually takes place in the late Spring, close to the Indianapolis 500, and there is a random prize which the winner is allowed to keep. Prizes vary from pig-plastered dinner plates to carved wooden statues.
The following is a breakdown of the past tournaments...although many details have been lost due to diminished brain cells!
Year: 1999
Location: Elvis & Gary's apartment in Sherman Oaks CA
Players: Geoff Rickcreek, Mark Rago, Perry Day, Elvis Greene, Shane Ross, Sam Ross, Joe Coia, Gary Williams
Winner: Geoff Richcreek
2nd - Shane Ross3rd - Elvis GreeneRecap: Geoff Richcreek was the very first winner of the Piganapolis 500 in a blinding 30 minute victory. It was his technique of his fast and immediate pick-up of his rolls that earned him the nickname "Blitzcreek".
Joe Coia made history by rolling so many oinkers he gave up trying to get to 500 points. Poor Joe got so frustrated after passing the pigs to himself for over an hour and oinking countless times, he just gave up and never finished. No one will ever forget Joe sitting by himself rolling the pigs saying "Pass...pass...pass......FUCK!" after oinking yet again! Since then the NPPL has made a rule that EVERYONE must finish the 500 no matter how long it takes or how pissed-drunk you are!!
Year: 2000
Location: The Valley again! Right next to Pornville USA!
Players: Perry Day, Elvis Greene, Mark Rago, Joe Coia, Gary Williams, Geoff Richcreek, Sam Ross, Shane Ross
Winner: Mark Rago
2nd - Perry Day3rd - Geoff RichcreekRecap: Taking advantage of other players oinking, Rago won his first championship ever! Although a horrible player in the Masters tournaments at this point in his career, his change of strategy in the 500 was a huge benefit to his pigs and he took home a rare plastic plate with pigs on it!
Year: 2001
Location: THE FUCKING VALLEY, Los Angeles CA
Players: Elvis Greene, Sam Ross, Shane Ross, Mark Rago, Perry Day, Gary Williams, Victoria Coia, Art Cippilone, Joe Coia
Winner: Joe Coia
2nd - Sam Ross3rd - Elvis GreeneRecap: Two years after letting his oinkers get the best of him, Coia finally made up for it. However, his first championship was overshadowed by none other than Gary Williams who got so frustrated with his bad pigs that he threw them against the wall in disgust. This did not go very well with the NPPL and Mr. Williams was given a formal warning by the league.
Year: 2003
Location: Absolutely nowhere.
Players: Not a fucking one!
Winner: NONE!
Recap: This was supposed to be the showdown match for Joe Coia and Mark Rago, the reigning champion and "the other" reigning champion. Unfortunately we were all a bunch of lazy assholes this year and no one organized shit. What a bunch of losers!
Year: 2005
Location: once again, nowhere...
Players: yet again, no one...
Winner: Mark Rago tried to claim this one for himself too because once again he was around and wanted to play! The other Masters quickly put him in his place though. Rago resided, but still claims 2004 as a legitimate championship.
Recap: Still feeling the effects of the previous Piganapolis 500 the 2005 contest was sadly and unintentionally skipped - truly a downpoint in the history of the league but with an upside as their minds were set for something bigger...the first PIG MADNESS was planned for the summer of 2005. It's safe to say The NPPL has never looked back.
Year: 2007
Location: Gary's apartment in West Hollywood CA
Players: Gary Williams, Mark Rago, Perry Day, John Coscia, Stacy Parady, Autograph Mike, Eric Fieland
Winner: Mark Rago
2nd - John Coscia 3rd - Autograph MikeRecap: After 2 years of hiatus, the 6th Piganapolis 500 was back again with none other than Mark Rago winning his 4th Piganapolis title! Quite a feat given no one else has even managed to win a second! Autograph Mike started off on a tear rolling 30 and 40 point rolls only to go stone-cold with multiple successive pig-outs! John Coscia made it close in the end but ultimately it was Rago taking home the plastic pig lighter with a flame that burned from the snout.
Year: 2004
Location: Perry Day's apartment in Los Angeles CA
Players: Perry Day, Nicole Day, Mark Rago, Ben Roe, Joe Roberio, Gary Williams, Matt Breen
Winner: *Mark Rago
2nd - *Gary Williams3rd - *Nicole DayRecap: *Mark Rago claimed victory to this contest because the match was shortened due to Ben Roe giving Perry's wife Nicole a panic attack. Ben's antics during play (slapping the other players and taking over 5 minutes to decide whether to pass the Pigs or not) resulted in frustration for all and ultimately the match was cut short with promise to resume...it never did. Mark Rago wanted to finish given he had 460 points and was on the verge of victory, but play was suspended and everyone went to the bar...and never came back! Rago believes this was done on purpose by the non-leaders so his Piganapolis Championship for this year is still debated to this day! This tournament also led to Ben being BANNED from future NPPL tournaments. After this incident Ben went on to form his own league where people can slap their opponents at any given moment!
Year: 2002
Location: Perry's apartment, Los Angeles CA
Players: Gary Williams, Perry Day, Mark Rago, Art Cippilone, Geoff Richcreek?, Matt Breen?
Winner: Mark Rago
2nd - ???3rd - ???Recap: Mark Rago won his 2nd title for the 500. This contest however, wasn't without controversy as the reigning champion Joe Coia wasn't even invited! A victim of bad luck and bad timing, The 500 was done on Memorial Day on a whim where everybody was basically fucking wasted when the decision was made to have the contest right then and there! Coia, obviously, was royally pissed after getting word the 500 happened without him and vowed for revenge...
Year: 2006
Location: See 2005 (above)
Players: Yeah, the same shit as 2005
Winner: Take a wild fucking guess!
Recap: Still basking in the glory of the first Pig Madness event, the 500 of 2006 was also missed. Scoop Palazzo once wrote an article referring to the fact that the Masters were actually forgetting about the 500 tournaments because of the massive success of the Pig Madness events. Some believed the theory...some thought he was full of shit. At any event, one Master at the time was quoted as saying "I will never let this happen ever again...EVER!"
Year: 2008
Location: Brennan's Pub, Marina del Rey
Players: Gary Williams, Mark Rago, John Coscia, Stacy Parady, Autograph Mike, Eric Fieland
Winner: Eric Fieland
2nd - Gary Williams 3rd - Stacy ParadyRecap: This tournament could arguably be labeled the "Pig-out 500" as everyone had their share of droughts and no one could get on a serious roll. But leading through most of the match, Eric Fieland simply threw better pigs and no one was able to take advantage when he wasn't rolling well. One highlight was when he rolled 10 one-point siders in a row, a feat that probably couldn't be duplicated if one rolled for 2 months straight!
This was the first NPPL tournament to be held at a bar, and ultimately was a huge success. This was also arguably the worst tournament of Mark Rago's career as he came in last place after winning the last three 500 tournaments. Rago came within 4 points of not finishing at the bottom as Autograph Mike (who threw the only oinker of the match) passed the pigs at 495. Mark then proceeded to roll off 62 unanswered points to get to 496 before finally pigging out. Must like racehorse Big Brown faultered a week before, Rago was in second place most of the way and held up without any known cause. Although the winner Eric had his share of pig-outs, his victory was well-deserved as he overcame all others and took home a wooden pig pencil-holder from El Salvador. Well... that and an extra $100.
Year: 2009
Location: Brennan's Pub, Marina del Rey
Date: May 30th
Players: Gary Williams, Mark Rago, John Coscia, Johnny Derango, Eric Fieland, Maria Skelly, Bob Bacon, Ashley Hurd, Sasha Couch, Holly Dreier, Mike K
Winner: Johnny Derango
2nd - Holly Dreier 3rd - Mark Rago
