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The Sal "Scoop" Palazzo Column
---When he’s not hung over or at the strip joints, Scoop has been a freelance writer for the NPPL for many years, and now…he has his own column. A dedicated fan of the Pigs and the NPPL for many years, Scoop has always voiced his true feelings of the league – good or bad. His no-holds-barred approach and unmerciful opinions have led to almost-chaos throughout the entire league and its fanbase. Why would the NPPL hire an alcoholic, mobster wanna-be, blow-snorting writer that hates most of human society… for his love of the Pigs. That’s right - The Love of the Pigs. Check back every week to read his new columns and see who’s life he fucks up next!
---Disclaimer: The opinions or comments expressed by Sal “Scoop” Palazzo in this column are those of the author only, and not of the NPPL, nor should it be a reflection thereof.
Check back next week to read Scoop's next column: "Will an Eastern Division finally come to light??"
To read previous Scoop Palazzo articles click here!!
August 3rd, 2009
Zach?!? Total unknown wins biggest & best L.A. Madness Yet
Pig Madness V was all set to be the most historic moment in NPPL history. It had perfect weather. The largest attendance ever. NPPL founder Elvis Greene was on hand to finally witness the growth of a league, that when he created it 11 years ago, had 8 members. Most amazingly, the inventor of Pass The Pigs, David Moffat, made the trip all the way from Bakersfield, CA to actually witness this insane event & give validation to a league that has grown to such a level that that it's now played competitively in 3 cities & boasts over 70 veteran, hard core pig passers.
This was also the tournament where Masters & veteran madness players alike were ready to claim the championship. While the field grew by 6 players to make 42 contestants, most of the newcomers were old vets who missed Madness IV and were ready to make up for it. All 14 masters were present as well, which meant the few rookies in the fold were simply there to pad the stats, go away quietly, and increase the runner up prize. For the most part, this held true to form. Almost all the newcomers created barely a ripple on the days play. There was one guy, however, that managed to win his division & get deep in the playoffs. Surely, however, with a veteran playoff field which featured 8 Masters & Pigs guru Elvis Greene, this dude would get lost in shuffle & be knocked out quickly.
Not a chance.
Somehow, a man by the name of Zachary Kuperman managed to defeat everyone in his path in an unprecedented march to the Pig Madness V championship and the history books.
NO TIES TO ANYONE--A LAST MINUTE ADDITION
No veteran players knew who he was. Very few knew his name. Dressed in a Miller Light buttondown shirt, most thought he was the keg deliveryman who dropped off the Miller kegs before the tournament started and somehow stuck around to hang out and steal a few brews before making his next beer delivery.
Nope, he was a last minute tournament entry, a friend of a friend of a friend who didn't even know what the game of Pass The Pigs was, let alone a tournament. Emailed early the previous morning by a buddy (and fellow rookie player) to "come check out this Pig party", Kuperman decided to check out www.pigmadness.com to see what the fuss was. After reading a few pages & articles, he was hooked. He called his friend announcing his desire to attend, and within a few hours he was the next-to-last person to check in at the registration table.
PLAYED WITH POISE & DETERMINATION--LIKE A MASTER IN DISGUISE
Once the tournament started, Zach was all business. Much like the recent rookie finalists Mike Blanco & Aubri Vincent-Barwood in the Chicago Madness, Kuperman had the "it" factor that made him an instant contender. Able to master a strategy from the start, he was immediately on par with the veteran pig passers, mowing through his division to win it & capture the all important 2 first-round byes right to the quarterfinals. The story would still be amazing if it ended right there. But it didn't, as Kuperman defeated the guru of pig passing, Michael "Elvis" Green in a tough, grinding 5 game series that needed to go the distance to settle. He then swept an admittedly shaken Kelvin Wilburn in the semifinals, who was sadly unable to regroup after being caught in the crossfire of a Masters feud that erupted like a volcano after his quarterfinal ouster of Bill Vergos. From there, in the other semifinal, fellow rookie Phil Harvey managed to sweep out current Masters & Pig Madness III winner Adam Meyer, setting up Kuperman for his historic run. Being from England & used to trash talk & hooliganism, Harvey played with lots of heart & poise throughout the day. But Kuperman was ready, not about to be road blocked by a fellow newcomer after beating 2 veteran pig passers. The finals were almost anticlimatic, with Zach sweeping Harvey 4-0 in a finals that wasn't even that close.
DON"T WORRY, HE'S ONE OF US
Immediately after winning, Kuperman seemed rather humble and gracious. Almost too kind to tear though the tournament as an outsider, take everyone's money, and ride off into the sunset. The morning after, it was feared that Masters & veteran Madness players alike were to be forever humbled, always remembering the time when some nice guy tool dressed in work clothes stole the trophy and $1,000. But fortunately, Kuperman proved everyone wrong with a cocky, arrogant, and trash talking rant which can be found on this website, showing that not only will he be back next year to defend his title, but that he "gets it" and will fit right in with the degenerate scene that we call Pig Madness. Which should teach everyone involved in Pig Madness a very valuable lesson.
Never judge a book his cover. He just might be a bigger, cockier, trash-talkin version of you.
