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The Sal "Scoop" Palazzo Weekly Column
RACE IS PLAYED, BUT WITH LITTLE PARTICIPATION
This past weekend the 6th Piganapolis 500 was held. Or wait, was it the 7th? Or 9th? Or maybe the 2nd? The way this race is promoted, who even can keep track anymore?
After numerous postponements, and almost as many player cancellations, 6 players got together and managed to complete the race at Brennans's Pub in Marina Del Rey. Kudos goes to Eric Feiland, who managed to win what was by all accounts a hotly contested race, but when there are only 4 masters present and only 1 loyal Pig Madness Player, what does that say about the quality of the race? Judging from the winners circle photo on the front page of this website - not much, as no one seems to even know how to spell it. Hell, when Gary Williams comes in 2nd, you KNOW that it doesn't even belong on the VS channel.
WHERE'S THE PLAYERS?
The question begs to be asked: Why aren't more people into this tournament? Well, there are many obvious problems that are associated with the race. The big one is that the date was moved from when it originally should've been played, the weekend before or after Memorial Day. To really get the race going, these postponements are going to have to stop. People are going to have to start remembering to check off their calendar and need to know when they are playing. And, maybe, just maybe, try to promote the event on this website beforehand? Wow! What a novel concept!
Another issue is the prize itself. There needs to be a slightly better trophy handed out each year, complete with a glass jar of milk for the winner to drink. When the NPPL currently has 2 other tournaments that yield a nice trophy & big prize money, what do you expect people to think about the race? And finally, there were some disturbing reports that some loyal pig passers were either not invited to the event, or even worse, made to feel unwelcome by a certain master who shall remain nameless. Up to this point, I have yet to get a straight answer as to how much of this is hogwash, but i'm guessing there is some truth on both sides. Which is sad, because it goes against the grain of how pigs is meant to be played. Invitations should be extended so that we can grow the game. As the race stands now, it feels more like a VFW meeting.
IMPROVEMENT ON THE HORIZON
It is the opinion of this columnist that the few masters in attendance have realized their errors and will not allow these mishaps to happen again. While 6 people was enough to start the race, it would've been better with at least 8-10 people and better balance. Holding it at Brennans was a smart idea--it will encourage participation simply by holding the event in an environment not seen before on the west coast--a public place. I would think that this idea is a strong building block to strengthen this event. Also, mix up the guy/girl ratio more. This isn't Fred Flinstone's buffalo club. And while we only need 3 masters to be present, more of their involvement would be nice. While they're at it, if you're going to go through the trouble of making a poster for the race, you could at least spell it right!
Lets get these changes going next year people! Otherwise, The Piganapolis 500 is going to start looking like the 2003, 2005, and 2006 races. Oh wait, they didn't happen?
I rest my case....................
---When he’s not hung over or at the strip joints, Scoop has been a freelance writer for the NPPL for many years, and now…he has his own weekly column. A dedicated fan of the Pigs and the NPPL for many years, Scoop has always voiced his true feelings of the league – good or bad. His no-holds-barred approach and unmerciful opinions have led to almost-chaos throughout the entire league and its fanbase. Why would the NPPL hire an alcoholic, mobster wanna-be, blow-snorting writer that hates most of human society… for his love of the Pigs. That’s right - The Love of the Pigs. Check back every week to read his new columns and see who’s life he fucks up next!
---Disclaimer: The opinions or comments expressed by Sal “Scoop” Palazzo in this column are those of the author only, and not of the NPPL, nor should it be a reflection thereof.
Check back next week to read Scoop's next column: "Steroids in Pass the Pigs?"
Piganapolis Flys, But Who Buys?
To read previous Scoop Palazzo articles click here!!
COMMENTS
"Scoop - you need a fact-checker because you obviously don't have your facts right! Moron. Give one your strippers the job!
---AnonymousDear Scoop Palazoo (or Poop Scalazoo),
Over the past few months I've read both of your columns. For the most part I think "You're a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless steaming pile of cow dung, figuratively speaking.(thank you Liar Liar...I've been waiting to use that line for years.) However, I also think your intentions are good. I hate to say it but I think it's true.
I believe that you and I share a fundamental philosophy...one I can honestly say is the foundation upon which the game of pigs was built. The proof is in your last article...(I offer a quote from your last article.)
"finally, there were some disturbing reports that some loyal pig
passers were either not invited to the event, or even worse, made to
feel unwelcome by a certain master who shall remain nameless. Up to
this point, I have yet to get a straight answer as to how much of this
is hogwash, but I'm guessing there is some truth on both sides. Which
is sad, because it goes against the grain of how pigs is meant to be
played."
I was out of the loop on this and I don't know what you were talking about with the who did what to whom, but I don't care and it doesn't matter for the purpose of this commentary. The only important part is "it goes against the grain of how pigs is meant to be played." Which leads me to believe that you feel the NPPL is about friendship and friendly competition with no room for those who aren't interested in peace, love, friendship, and rubber piglet warfare.
While I think Scoop is a typically jealous sports writer (those who can't do bitch about those who can) and he has the writing skills of a cave man, I think he has the games best intentions at heart and, at times, makes a lot of sense. Much like a well made burrito, scoop makes me happy even if the end result uses up the better part of my Charmin Super Soft Tissue.
I look forward to your next article.
As a side note...
While I am interested in mixing up the guy girl ratio a bit and agree it would be for the best and should in fact happen...to me, the end of your article reads like a want ad. "Single White Sports Writer Seeking Drunken Pig Passing Girl For Fun, Frolics, Fornication, Forgetfulness, and Five Bucks For My Cab Home." Really Scoop, have you no shame? Will you show up at this years Masters and say "Hi ladies, I'm ready for love and I brought my Yoda jammies! Want to feel the force?"
Sincerely
A Pig Passer
June 19, 2008
