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The Sal "Scoop" Palazzo Weekly Column
Less than 3 days till Pig Madness, and the question bursts from everyone's lips around water coolers everywhere: Who will win this year? Who will win the Super Bowl of Pass The Pigs?
Some say that a master will take the title, as they have more experience playing the game than most. Others say it will be a male, as a woman has yet to take home the gold (although they have gotten close). Still others say that it will be whoever is the most sober, as heavy partying & intense sun exposure takes it's toll on the players who partake as the day wears on. I've even heard that the local LA folks have the best chance, as there is no jetlag & travel arrangements & time zone differences that can put out of state players at a disadvantage. I'm here to tell you the best way to predict the Madness champion:
You can't
Now before you say that i'm coping out on a prediction, let's break down the past history of this tournament. We'll start with the 3 winners thus far. We've had a winner who flew in from 3 time zones who also never played the game before (Lou Nocella). In year 2, it was little known (at the time) Bill Vergos who took home the gold, which got him a lifetime membership to the exclusive Pig Masters club. And last year, it was Adam Meyer, normally a hard luck loser who, for one day at least, played the tournament of a lifetime. Incidentally, this was the first time a current master won a Madness. There have also been 2 female finalists, and the only double jowler in Madness history was thrown by a man better known for his life on the streets than his pig playing.
So does all this tell me? That this tournament cannot be predicted. It's truly anyone's guess who will win, and that's what makes it "Pig Madness". It's also what makes it the most anticipated event of the year, as anyone who plays has a legit shot at the $1,000 prize.
A HOT START A MUST
One thing that does seem to be important for those who plan on winning is that, in a large divisional format where everyone only plays everyone once, it's very important to start well out of the gate and win early. The longer the tournament goes, the harder it is to come back once a losing streak starts. After a few hours, many players are too drunk and suffering from heat stroke to properly focus on the matches at hand. It's what makes this tournament the hardest of all NPPL events, and it's easiest to win a match when player is still the most mentally sharp (i.e.--sober).
DON"T CHANGE THE GAME PLAN
The other mistake commonly made is many players throw a different style of pigs depending on who the opponent is. They try to adapt their moves based on what the player did last year, or how they played in previous matches throughout the day. But it's a flawed approach. Each player only gets one game against each other, and it's impossible to try to adapt to your opponent is such a short period of time. One is better off having a pre planned formula and sticking with it throughout the day. They'll be more consistent in their moves & focus on the main goal--worry about getting to 100, not what explicative the opponent is chanting at you. Many do not heed this warning, and if they're not careful all they'll be playing out the string before 5 PM.
SOME PROHIBITIVE FAVORITES
In the issue of fairness, i will throw out some players that I expect to see playing in the post-season as the drum circle rages across the beach. I expect Meyer to be back--the fact that he flew into town to defend his title is very admirable & he'll prove his worth. I think that Melanie McQuitty (if she plays) is due to break through after a couple of near misses on the playoff bubble. Once cannot discount Rago, as being the host is a big advantage this time around now that he has more help in the planning and can sit back & relax a bit beforehand. John Coscia & Eric Fieland are legit pig tossers, and there's always a newcomer that makes a splash. This writer sees Leanna Darr as a possibility, along with the token playoff appearance from "Mark's neighbor's friend's 2nd cousin who happened to be in town this weekend" person that we'll never see again but will have their 15 minutes of fame. And of course, there is Perry Day, the current Masters champion, who hasn't had a good Pig Madness to date & is due for a breakthrough to put an exclamation mark on his growing legacy as the best pig player of his generation.
Truth be told, this tourney is a crap shoot, and calling it is like trying to predict a Midwestern winter. However, there is one safe prediction that you can bet the house on:
The only thing that Gary Williams might win are a bunch of crappy records from Rago's music collection
---When he’s not hung over or at the strip joints, Scoop has been a freelance writer for the NPPL for many years, and now…he has his own weekly column. A dedicated fan of the Pigs and the NPPL for many years, Scoop has always voiced his true feelings of the league – good or bad. His no-holds-barred approach and unmerciful opinions have led to almost-chaos throughout the entire league and its fanbase. Why would the NPPL hire an alcoholic, mobster wanna-be, blow-snorting writer that hates most of human society… for his love of the Pigs. That’s right - The Love of the Pigs. Check back every week to read his new columns and see who’s life he fucks up next!
---Disclaimer: The opinions or comments expressed by Sal “Scoop” Palazzo in this column are those of the author only, and not of the NPPL, nor should it be a reflection thereof.
Check back next week to read Scoop's next column: "Pig Madness IV recap!"
WHO WILL WIN PIG MADNESS? TAKE YOUR PICK - TOURNAMENT IS TOO UNIQUE AND VARIED TO PREDICT
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July 29, 2008
