The Zen of Pigs

"A Kick To The Mind Is A Slap To The Balls Is A Thorn In The Pride"

by

Master Elvis

In the days of hand to hand warfare, combat was a brutal and personal

business.  Unlike the archer who's arrow found an unknowing target, a

sword or a dagger saw the targets eyes when the blow would land.  And

although the confrontation was rather brief, these two opponents

"knew" each other like no other had before.  If but for a moment in

time.  Their eyes would lock...entangled in a fight to the bitter

end...the winner and the loser.  Glory and defeat all in one dramatic

flash.  And when you lost...you knew it.

Because their very lives were on the line, and it was so incredibly

personal, the great generals devised many ways to ensure a solid

victory.  But not all paths led to and increase in weapons, arms, or

technology.  Some paths led to the mental aspect of war.  The battle

of the mind had begun.

Some tactics involved intimidating clothing and uniforms, such as the

Samurai of feudal Japan.  Some cultures, such as the Celts, went into

battle completely naked and screamed at the top of their lungs to

frighten their enemies with their insane blood lust.  Still, other

armies used loud sounds such as beating drums, horns, or trumpets.

All of these attacks had the same effect, frighten the opponent before

the conflict.  Put doubt in their mind.  Make them second guess their

chances at victory.  Cause them to lose their nerve and their focus.

In essence, defeat them before drawing your sword.

These psychological tactics worked so well that they are even put to

use in recent history and modern times.  For example, did you know

George Washington was buck naked and screaming on the crossing of the

Delaware River into Trenton?  Old Blue Balls they called him.  It's

true.  But since the Hessians were all asleep and the psychological

attack useless he quickly dressed in his uniform and instead ordered a

sneak attack.  Thus sealing the country's fate.

The strategy of the mind is a crucial part of passing the pigs as

well.  Doubt that for a second and join the list of those who lost

before you.

When facing an opponent, you must know when to plant the seeds of

doubt, yet, there is no set time for every player.  Everyone is

different.  However, it must be done before you reach the table, but

yet not so far back that the opponent has time to overcome the doubt.

You want your opponent to suddenly doubt himself, have time to think

it over, not have enough time to recover, and then reinforce it at the

battle field.

A classic way to instill fear amongst pig passers is to simply say

"Your pigs suck." Such as the current Champion Perry Day is prone to

do.  (screaming into battle)  While others find it more beneficial to

drive the point home by wearing it on their clothing like Johnny D.

(intimidating armor)  some instead remove their clothing and square

off balls and all at the table.  (Ben).   These men have followed in

the footsteps of the great military leaders and engaged the opponent

in a psychological melee round and have, for two of them anyway, found

glory in the winners circle.

Playing your best at pigs means making sure your opponent does not.

To do this you must create self doubt.  You must make the opponent

think his pigs do, in fact, suck.  Defeat your opponent before you

reach the table and you will win before you've even rolled.

But be warned, the naked Celts looked like complete assholes if they

were mercilessly slaughtered on the battle field.  The intimidating

armor of the Japanese Samurai made for excellent desk lamps if the

smoke cleared and they'd lost, and those war horns won't sound so good

if the enemy makes you blow the theme from Green Acres with your butt

cheeks.

In essence...If you talk smack you will gain the advantage, but you'd

better back it up or you'll look twice as foolish when defeated.

Timing is everything.  Learn to time your mental game.

And above all else...know when to pass the pigs.

Zen

  of

Pigs

The

Second Scripture