The Zen of Pigs

"From Finger Tips To Toes, Technique Matters"

by

Master Elvis

Think back for a moment to the very first day of enlightenment.  The

very first time you passed the pigs.  How odd they felt in your hand.

These little rubber piglets with their black noses and feet.   Unlike

any traditional dice you had ever seen, yet, somehow they rolled.

As you threw the pigs the very first time, three things crossed your

mind.  First, this is a stupid game.  Second...holy crap, they

actually land in different positions.  Third, I must roll them again!

And by the time you won your first game by hitting that 100 mark, you

were in love with the game itself.  As it should be, and has been for

generations.

Sadly we are so transfixed with the outcome of our first few rolls

that we ignore a crucial step in our pig passing growth.  Instead of

looking at rubber and paint, table and scoreboard, we neglect to study

skin and sinew.  Bone and joint.  Fingers.  Wrists.  The entire body

itself.  We neglect to study our technique.

Think about your current rolling style.  By now you certainly have

one.  People often refer to this as your technique.  No one is exactly

the same, though some are similar.  As per the rules we are bound to

roll with one hand, and although there are some switch passers, most

players pass with the same hand consistently.

Take a moment now to think about your own rolling style, from the time

you scoop the pigs up to the time you release them again.  Answer the

following questions:

Was your hand dirty?

Was your hand damp with perspiration?

How much time has passed since you grabbed the pigs until the time

they were released?

Do you "shake" the pigs a lot in your hand or do you just give em a quick pass?

Do you toss the pigs?

Do you flick em?

Do you have dribble pigs?

Have you ever farted in some one's beer bottle while they were passing

the pigs?  I have and I have felt great shame.  (Sorry Mark.)

Let us study the body and the art of the roll.

The Palm:

There are two schools of thought on the actual palm's condition prior

to picking up a pig.  The first school says your hands should be dry

and free of dirt and debris.  The second school says keep em wet.  Dry

pigs will roll farther and longer.  Wet rubber has a tendency to stay

put and not go too far, creating sticky pigs.  Do wet pigs offer a

greater potential for a double leaning jowler due to moisture?  Or do

dry pigs offer a great chance of a higher point to pig out ratio?  I

believe the middle road is the answer.  Mild moisture ensures a steady

landing while too much moisture can make the pigs stick in their

original landing position, usually on their side.  Keep your hands

clean, no dirt.  Dirt is always the enemy.  (a small grain of sand

attached to a pigs foot carries with it a lot of extra weight when you

consider the scale of the pigs.)  Mild moisture helps and is probably

a safe way to go overall.

The Stance:

Your technique really must come from a natural position, either

standing or sitting.  It must feel natural.  It must flow like water.

You must keep it in control as well as not to let it get away from

you.  For example, if you start throwing the pigs off the table,

you've gone bananas.  Keep it under control.  Stand, or sit,

comfortably.  Allow your body to move naturally.  Unrestricted.

The Back Up Technique:

A quick thought about your backup technique.  You know what I mean,

the technique you use as a desperation move when all else fails.

Often heard something like this "Oh man I'm in trouble, that's it, I'm

bringing out the Spin-za-roni!"  or  "That's it I've had it.  It's

time for the KING TUT!!!"   I strongly advise you do not use any

technique unless you practice it for hours upon hours to make it

natural and consistent.  Back up techniques are for rookies and

desperate pros.  That's the big problem with these backup techniques,

they're never practiced and never consistent.  Oh sure, you've had

some luck with it in the past, but I bet more often then not it fails?

How do I know that?  Because if it worked well all of the time it

would be your primary rolling style, not a backup.   However, that

being said, every now and then I still find myself doing the ol'

Switch-a-Rooba-Rooba or The Fast Flip, which has produced mixed

results.

Think of Rocky Balboa.  He's a left handed fighter.  In Rocky II

Mickey trains Rocky to fight with his right hand to change up the game

a little.  Mickey has Rocky punching a bag with his right hand

thousands of times to make it comfortable and natural.  Rocky began to

fight right handed and it felt natural to him.   Could you imagine how

the fight would've gone if they didn't practice?  Rocky would be

getting his ass kicked all over the place and Mickey would say "Ok

Rock, try your new technique. THE TIGHTY RIGHTY!!!"  Apollo would've

ripped Rocky's head off and rang the bell with it.  Ding....ding.

You must practice this backup technique or never use it again.  Do not

believe for a second that there is a consistent middle ground.

Desperate acts are just that, desperate.  But much like a smelly bar

of soap...we seem to use them if we have no other option.

The Swipe:

A quick word about "the swipe".  The swipe is a situation that happens

when you're in the zone.  You've got Fire Pigs. (see Zen 3)  You find

yourself rolling the pigs, scooping them up, and rolling again so

quickly that it's hard to even count the pigs.  While this is an

important function of fire pigs, be sure to keep your technique in

check.  Just because you're rolling fast doesn't mean you should be

rolling different.

The bottom line to all of this is that you must be aware of your body

and how it moves.  Practice playing the pigs a lot.  Allow your body

to move freely, the way it wants too, but then be sure to practice

keeping it under control.  Only you can decide if your technique is

"good" or  "bad".  And if you want to keep a backup technique in your

arsenal, practice it as often as you practice your primary technique.

In the end you will find that you are experiencing the game on a whole

new level.  Mind.  Body.  Spirit.  Rubber.  All of these things are

essential elements to winning the game of pigs.

And above all else...you must know when to pass the pigs.

Zen

  of

Pigs

The

Fourth Scripture